Subject: Fifty rules of fighting
From: samboboy
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 12:18 PM
Ok here are some thoughts I wrote down while sick with the flu a few months ago. Some of them come from personal experience(the marines, the eyebrow, etc.) the only one I dodn't come up with was about the guy missing teeth that is all Tony Blauer on that one. Enjoy...
fifty rules of fighting
don't fight it is easier that way never start a fight you are unable to finish know what to expect, never bring a knife to a gunfight never mistake patience and tolerence for weakness
never fight the locals
he may be bigger than you, he may be older than you, he may be stronger than you but maybe, just maybe he isn't a better fighter than you
no one has muscles on their eyes and throat
your life is worth more than any amount of money
only fools rush in
if someone is going to hit you hit them first
there is no seat on any form of public transportation worth fighting over
never kick above the waistline
parrying is better than blocking
slipping is better than parrying
avoid fights with any type of people who regularly use the term "blood feud"
getting shot is perfect way to ruin any day
don't fight over a girl
if your girlfriend is impressed when you get into fights get a new girlfriend
bouncers are people too, they are just people who happen to be much bigger than you and should not be screwed with
if you are a marine fight wars not drunks in bars
if you are a drunk in a bar don't pick fights with marines
hitting drunks ranks in terms of bravery with suckering your grandma
when a fight happens it is not who is right but who is left
bones are suprising brittle, that goes for his and yours
after a fight get a blood test then wait six months and get an AIDS test
when your teeth get knocked out put them in a glass of milk and head to the dentist
the bigger they are the more scarred they are the more teeth they are missing the more fights they lost before this one
sometimes you lose
sometimes you win
fighting is the only activity where it is very possible for both people to come out losers
kicking someone very hard in the shins with steel toed boots tends to make them want to fight less
cowards live longer
even more important than having a toolkit is knowing which tool to use
striking is about three things, timiming, distance, and accuracy
always follow a hook with a straight
if you are going to use a submission on the street don't let him tap
if you know how to roll it properly a newspaper will kill a man, "Millwall brick"
killing is easy, living with the consequence of your action isn't
if you have to, cut them on the forehead at the hairline it bleeds heavy. blinds them and does no serious injury
when you are done have the courtesy to call 911
don't poke their eyes, gouge them
if a car races by and the driver yells obscenities don't yell back
punching someone in the throat ends a fight very quickly
if you are standing and he is on the ground, stay there
if he is standing and you are on the ground get the hell up
if you are in crowded place you can spray some mace onto the palm of your hand and smear it on his face
use dish soap to get mace off your skin
if he is smashing your head into the ground reach up grab him by the back of the head and bite his eyebrow off
ears are detachable
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From: John9821
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 12:24 PM
kicking someone very hard in the shins with steel toed boots tends to make them want to fight less
if he is smashing your head into the ground reach up grab him by the back of the head and bite his eyebrow off
ears are detachable
avoid fights with any type of people who regularly use the term "blood feud"
lmao at these
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From: samboboy
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 12:30 PM
John,
The eyebrow part is from a real fight I watched my friend Remi"The Butcher" was having his head bounced against the pavement he bit about an inch of the guys eyebrow.
As to blood feuds, there are just some people I will never fight, Albanians use the term "Dukagjini" way too much for me.
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From: Buddhadev
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 12:30 PM
Did someone say "HEY STICKGRAPPLER, SAVE THIS!"? :-)
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From: samboboy
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 12:44 PM
ttt
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From: Stickgrappler
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 12:51 PM
am on it! thanks!! great post!!!
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From: Timothy Zayac
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 01:30 PM
If you can look up, you can get up.
If you hesitate, you'll levitate...horizontally.
Don't worry about muscles, no one has ever been bench pressed to death.
If the man can't walk, breath or see, he can't fight.
It's better to be tried by 12, then to be carried by 6.
Be polite, you never know who or what you're dealing with.
When someone wants to go outside, don't lead the way.
Hard weapon to soft-target.
Palm to the head.
If you slip after a takedown, fall on the opponent, not on the ground.
A well-made pen is a better stabbing weapon than a knife.
Kicking on a sandy or icy street is not encouraged.
Its okay to go outside to fight, less witnesses.
When the police arrive, suddently get a severe case of amnesia, forgetting everything except that he came at you and you were in fear for your life.
Smile and laugh when you fight, there is nothing more frustrating than getting your ass kicked by someone doing this. Plus it relaxes you.
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From: Absolute Storm
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 01:52 PM
How can a rolled up newspaper kill a man?
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From: taka_usa
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 01:52 PM
If you know him, consider getting beaten.
You can sue him for a lot of money later. My friend who was minor and poor then but tough as hell had to pay several grants by arbitration. The guy who got beaten smiles at him every time they come across in town. He clearly won IMHO.
taka.
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From: Owen Sparks
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 01:56 PM
Good stuff!
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From: DW
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 01:57 PM
Ive lost my eyebrow, I got double teamed, by my bike and the pavement
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From: samboboy
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 04:05 PM
Absolute Storm,
Take about two sections of a newspaper(thirty pages or so) lay then flat out, start rolling from one corner to the other making sure the roll is really tight, when done you should have a tube shape, bend it in half. You will quickly see just how strong it is feel the place where it bends, it is like a baseball bat but it will never break or splinter. This is a serious weapon that can be made in about thirty seconds, and dismantled with a flick of the wrist. Try it you'll be very suprised.
Marc
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From: Diesel67
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 04:23 PM
No one has muscles on their eyes or throat - or balls.
If your girlfriend is impressed when you get into fights - she is a Darwinian fitness maximizer. Physical strength and skill used to mean command of resources (food, living space, etc) that would benefit your children. Our genes changed very little since the Stone Age.
Cowards die a thousand times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once - Wm. Shakespeare
What's the difference between a block and a parry?
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From: benway
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 04:29 PM
Never fight a religous son of a bitch, his moves are holy, espescially with the good lord guiding him on how to fuck you up in the fight :-)
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From: Todd Atkins
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 04:44 PM
Scrappers rules of fighting at Gussie Lamours
Knee them in the balls till they give up.
Todd
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From: DAROOT
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 04:56 PM
Have you guys read 'Tao of Jeet Kune Do' I don't know if that is how to spell it but I have read it and about half of the above quotes are from that book. Samboboy fooled you guys but not me. Parrying, blocking following a hook with a straight, slipping, timing distance and accuracy. All from the book. I train GJJ but I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their standup. I know it has opened my eyes.
ROOT
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From: samboboy
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 05:20 PM
Daroot,
Huh? I didn't copy any of them except for the one I got from Tony, they are just thoughts I scribbled down while in bed with the flu. Ideas are just that, I never made the claim I invented them. I just posted them for people amusement. By the way you do know the Tao of JKD was mostly ripped off from fencing and boxing texts right?
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From: txmatt
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 05:30 PM
never fight yer freinds unless they utterley dis you,braceyou"challenge"or put there hands on you. the eyebrow trick works i did it to a guy in prison.\ blast to the chin and nose is a great fight stopper in the streets "never" hit the mouth teeth are filthy and they suck when you pull them from yer fist once youve hit them "keep hitting"dont stop to see there reaction.cause if there pissed and got heart yer gettin some back at you.
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From: samboboy
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 05:31 PM
Where they come from
don't fight it is easier that way >common sense
never start a fight you are unable to finish >see above
know what to expect, never bring a knife to a gunfight >my brother
never mistake patience and tolerence for weakness >my own mantra
never fight the locals >I got int to a fight with some coal miners once, I learnt this one the hard way
he may be bigger than you, he may be older than you, he may be stronger than you but maybe, just maybe he isn't a better fighter than you >My friend Mike Hora proved this with some coal miners(see above)
no one has muscles on their eyes and throat >common sense
your life is worth more than any amount of money >common sense
only fools rush in >the true king of the ring, Elvis
if someone is going to hit you hit them first >me
there is no seat on any form of public transportation worth fighting over >saw a fight over a bus seat a guy lost three teeth
never kick above the waistline >common sense
parrying is better than blocking >hard blocking is too commiting
slipping is better than parrying >just ask Ray Leonard
avoid fights with any type of people who regularly use the term "blood feud" >my girlfriend
getting shot is perfect way to ruin any day >just being a smart ass
don't fight over a girl >common sense
if your girlfriend is impressed when you get into fights get a new girlfriend >d'uh
bouncers are people too, they are just people who happen to be much bigger than you and should not be screwed with >I worked a few doors
if you are a marine fight wars not drunks in bars >Gas Panic Tokyo, winter 1999, ouch
if you are a drunk in a bar don't pick fights with marines >Gas Panic Tokyo, winter 1999, ouch
hitting drunks ranks in terms of bravery with suckering your grandma >any bar in the world
when a fight happens it is not who is right but who is left >first heard it from some kajukempo guy
bones are suprising brittle, that goes for his and yours >me
after a fight get a blood test then wait six months and get an AIDS test >common sense
when your teeth get knocked out put them in a glass of milk and head to the dentist >lost a few chicklets when I was fourteen
the bigger they are the more scarred they are the more teeth they are missing the more fights they lost before this one >Tony the man Blauer
sometimes you lose >me
sometimes you win >me
fighting is the only activity where it is very possible for both people to come out losers >me from a post on the mental edge
kicking someone very hard in the shins with steel toed boots tends to make them want to fight less >my friend proved this right
cowards live longer >look at all the old cowards around
even more important than having a toolkit is knowing which tool to use >common sense
striking is about three things, timiming, distance, and accuracy >Old coach of mine
always follow a hook with a straight >basic boxing strategy
if you are going to use a submission on the street don't let him tap >common sense
if you know how to roll it properly a newspaper will kill a man, "Millwall brick" >thanks to Wayne the toughest black skinhead I know
killing is easy, living with the consequence of your action isn't >my grandfather(French Marine WWII)
if you have to, cut them on the forehead at the hairline it bleeds heavy. blinds them and does no serious injury >Grey's anatomy
when you are done have the courtesy to call 911 >me
don't poke their eyes, gouge them >me
if a car races by and the driver yells obscenities don't yell back >see the teeth in milk comment
punching someone in the throat ends a fight very quickly >happened to me
if you are standing and he is on the ground, stay there >common sense
if he is standing and you are on the ground get the hell up >common sense
if you are in crowded place you can spray some mace onto the palm of your hand and smear it on his face >fight when I was 19
use dish soap to get mace off your skin >after a riot in Vancouver
if he is smashing your head into the ground reach up grab him by the back of the head and bite his eyebrow off > Remi the Butcher
ears are detachable > :-)
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From: grandpab
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 06:22 PM
The bigger they are the harder they hit.
Make your words sweet, you never know when you are going to have to eat them.
Attack the joints, nuts, neck, and eyes, use a weapon.
Don't make the mistake of thinking he said "stand up" when he really said "shut up".
Always be aware of your surroundings.
Grandp
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From: Absolute Storm
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 06:57 PM
I shall have to try out that rolled up newspaper idea.
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From: TRASH
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 11:15 PM
never put your mouth on a curb, nothing good can come of it
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From: Earthquake
Date: 15-Mar-00 | 11:55 PM
Yeah, good tips all around, I'll have to use that newspaper one myself.
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